Geophysical Observationally Obvious Facilliatory Yak Intelligent Design(GOOFY-ID)

Volcanoes are not fully explainable. Magma comes from under the Earth where we have not been. Magma is hot. We don't know how deep from inside the Earth magma comes. We do not fully understand the processes that make magma. Therefore, it should be clear to anyone that there is a giant Yak beneath the earth who munches on tectonic plates as one slides beneath another. The Yak defecates molten rock, which has turned molten due to his intense body heat. The Yak chooses where and when volcanoes erupt because.....something must!

I submit this as a scientific theory. Come Michael Behe, support me on this one! It's as valid as your theory, and it has a giant Yak! How cool is that? Let's get popular signoff on it and force kids to learn about it. Maybe we could start in Mississippi since their school system is screwed up anyway. Then we'll see how much lower their per capita income can sink. Let the fun begin!