Laptop. Mobile Tool or Virtual Schlong?
There are many tools that we use in the IT industry, ranging from SD Cards to behemoth multi-function devices. Many of these devices prove useful in a number of circumstances, but I have noticed an interesting trend by the troglodyte…I mean neophyte boss-types; technology as a status symbol.
After hours, throughout my office building, virtually every portable device imaginable remains behind. Blackberries litter people’s desks and laptops sit in their docking stations. This is not an occasional occurrence; this is every day. We purchase laptops, which cost approximately two and a half times as much as a desktop, they break more easily and frequently, are more prone to theft, and are slower than their desktop equivalent.
Interesting to note, virtually every employee, manager level and above, has a laptop. Laptops are purchased not because they are valuable as a mobile work tool, but to serve as a virtual schlong.
Don’t think that this is a male-only trait though, Oh no no no. Female boss-types overcompensate just as frequently. In fact, one VP Female Boss-type has a desktop for work, a desktop for home, and a laptop!
Is the purpose of a laptop not to let you work from anywhere? So where does not count as anywhere? Why the other two systems?
It is the nature of our industry to deal with, and be led by, the idiocy of those who understand little to nothing of computers. They defer to us rarely, or never. Therefore, our jobs become a living hell. I would sooner shave my tongue than deal with bosses like this. Case in point, our remote offices decided that they needed to purchase digital cameras, and so told the heads of each office to purchase a digital camera within a certain budget and expense it to the company. Because of said idiocy, I now have to support about 30 different kinds of digital camera, none of which are interchangeable; some use SD Cards and others use CompaqFlash. To support something, I need to know it decently well. It takes me an hour or two to get a firm grasp of a piece of software, which is probably one-tenth what it takes a normal user. Now that I have 30 pieces of software to support, I get to spend 30-60 hours learning the software, not to mention a big spreadsheet to tell me who has what and how they need to be handled! In any case, VP Female Boss-type now has three computers at her mercy, and has asked me how it would be best to make her documents available on all three machines, two of which reside at her home. My answer should be “Stick with just one computer you freakin’ retard,” but I can’t say that to a VP. So instead, I’m going to create some huge, convoluted, ass-backwards method of accessing data from everywhere from any machine so that one person can have three computers. There’s nothing like helping to justify something stupid for someone you detest.
This is IT. What retarded thing would you like to do today?
After hours, throughout my office building, virtually every portable device imaginable remains behind. Blackberries litter people’s desks and laptops sit in their docking stations. This is not an occasional occurrence; this is every day. We purchase laptops, which cost approximately two and a half times as much as a desktop, they break more easily and frequently, are more prone to theft, and are slower than their desktop equivalent.
Interesting to note, virtually every employee, manager level and above, has a laptop. Laptops are purchased not because they are valuable as a mobile work tool, but to serve as a virtual schlong.
Don’t think that this is a male-only trait though, Oh no no no. Female boss-types overcompensate just as frequently. In fact, one VP Female Boss-type has a desktop for work, a desktop for home, and a laptop!
Is the purpose of a laptop not to let you work from anywhere? So where does not count as anywhere? Why the other two systems?
It is the nature of our industry to deal with, and be led by, the idiocy of those who understand little to nothing of computers. They defer to us rarely, or never. Therefore, our jobs become a living hell. I would sooner shave my tongue than deal with bosses like this. Case in point, our remote offices decided that they needed to purchase digital cameras, and so told the heads of each office to purchase a digital camera within a certain budget and expense it to the company. Because of said idiocy, I now have to support about 30 different kinds of digital camera, none of which are interchangeable; some use SD Cards and others use CompaqFlash. To support something, I need to know it decently well. It takes me an hour or two to get a firm grasp of a piece of software, which is probably one-tenth what it takes a normal user. Now that I have 30 pieces of software to support, I get to spend 30-60 hours learning the software, not to mention a big spreadsheet to tell me who has what and how they need to be handled! In any case, VP Female Boss-type now has three computers at her mercy, and has asked me how it would be best to make her documents available on all three machines, two of which reside at her home. My answer should be “Stick with just one computer you freakin’ retard,” but I can’t say that to a VP. So instead, I’m going to create some huge, convoluted, ass-backwards method of accessing data from everywhere from any machine so that one person can have three computers. There’s nothing like helping to justify something stupid for someone you detest.
This is IT. What retarded thing would you like to do today?
posted by ITFury at 1:39 PM
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